KID JOKES

What is large, gray, and wears glass slippers?...Cinderelephant.

Why does Piglet smell so bad?...He always plays with Pooh.

Girl: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Boy: I don’t know.

Girl: So they can hide in cherry trees.

Boy: I’ve never seen an elephant in a cherry tree.

Girl: See, it works!

What lives underwater and loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?...A peanut butter and jelly fish.

How would you feel if you ate 100 pancakes?...Just waffle.

Why should you never fly with Peter Pan?...Because you’ll never, never land.

Darth Vader: Luke Skywalker, I know what you’re getting for Christmas.

Luke: How do you know?

Vader: I felt your presents.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Are you catching a cold?

A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?...A f sh.

What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?...Nectarine.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

What kind of music do mummies like most?...Wrap.

Playing baseball alone in his backyard, a boy announced, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air, swung hard, and missed. “Strike one!” he yelled. He picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Feeling confident this time, he lobbed the ball, swung…and missed. “Strike two!” he yelled. The boy examined his bat and then his ball. He spit on his hands, rubbed them together, then tugged his cap and repeated, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Again he tossed the ball, swung and missed. “Wow!’ the boy exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”

What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk? Winnie the Pee U.

What kind of animal shouldn’t you play cards with?...A cheetah. (Ann)

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
'This is the dumbest kid in the world.  Watch while I prove it to you.'
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?'
The boy takes the quarters and leaves the dollar.
'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store & says ; 'Hey, son!  May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'
The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

What do you call cheese that is not yours?...Nacho cheese. (Sydney)

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?...A stick. (Chris)